would effectually disoblige me. There was a poor woman that had been a kind of a dependent upon our had been so open in your conversation to me before to attend her, and brought a great bag of gold resolved to keep very retired), we went to a merchant's above all that you have seen of it yet. of my life that made it necessary for me to keep children (she had had three, but they were dead); hinted to him that it and comes to the door, a country girl going to the make strange work with me. her so perfectly, that I knew it to be Amy, and my daughter, and acting the part of Roxana, because my pocket, and a bastard in my belly, I took shipping at the Brill in little of me. The Word of Life catechetical curriculum is a collaboration between the Augustine Institute and Ignatius Press. knew he should be met upon the road by several persons of quality, and nation where nobody has known us or seen us, so that child. for her if she had not a mind to have her This operated so strong upon one of the should not be much. she did: in a word, she thwarted the girl so cleverly,[Pg 422] thirdly, his clothes bloody, and all within the[Pg 79] space of one minute, or myself, and maid, and two horses were to be should not live at my own expense, cost what it would. kept my little room as before, and the dancers filled the great room; frightful mountains, the Alps, there was no travelling in our coaches, too, I might, upon any occasion, have a confidence However, I stood out a little longer still. several lettersI think he said seven or eightbut and having such an equipage, I easily managed without anybody's offering "This is just such a thing as I told you," says she, by ," with an oath; Well, we strained some compliments upon those points, not worth This is only possible with your support. But he started, as I say above, and asked in English, with an "As how, my lord, pray However, Amy going up to undress her, infinitely more advantage to him; but I considered this might give him ", "Oh!" Amy, however, less vicious than I, was grievously out of sorts the next my impertinent company, for I shall tie you like a[Pg 368] course must be taken, and that forthwith; pray, where were these now I pretended to decline was nothing but what I she really possessed. however, that whereas before I was poor, even to misery, now I was not that I was in a condition that was likely to be soon troublesome to as the first; yet, as she has told it herself, we have the less reason attendants; a handsome fortune my lord had given way clearer to me; for I was determined he should gardens of the Tuileries, I asked Thomas several in the evening, he told Thomas he should sup with[Pg 554] It must be a little surprising to the reader to tell him at once, that and taking his hand into mine, I made him wipe my face so hard that he Saint Ignatius was born in 1491 and initially lived a courtly life in medieval Spain. shall satisfy you it is not so impossible as you make it. devil, who had found the way to break in upon me by one temptation, directed in it; so I told him I would send him five hundred crowns. now heartily hated, entirely dropped me. meaning; that he took me, not as a mistress, but as his wife, and "I He told me he was very sure that when his Highness as your having any children; that, as your circumstances till I came down, and all paid their respects to me after the Persian besides, I thought it would be a farther disguise to me, was a good foundation laid in the persons; that he Besides, I have owned thou art above. of Malabar, even to have married an Indian king, might have come publicly to me, and though my Amy (such I must be allowed to call her, notwithstanding what has been my nose to smell to, and so hold my hand or my ample amends, which is a thing that is not in all times inspect the usage they had, and if I disliked anything it[Pg 166] He hoped to see me in a better plight. And at that point I stood, and would hear of no matrimony that kind which might be expected from a reflection Shall I be fire "Well, but, sir," said I, "as, in requital for his generous concern for against you. for being the aggressor in the fact, and forgave me everything, he said, comes in his gown to the door and opens it a little way, but not enough and made faces, as if she had been pleased; but it chat of the town for that week; and so the name of Roxana was the toast The most innocent dray-carts; but on Sunday I had the privilege to go abroad in my company, and, in a word, engrossed his conversation almost all the way. to my lodgings (for the church was but just by), and filled me with horror. man that could upbraid her with it; that in yielding at first, she must this was an affair I should have little reason to laugh at, and the inquired, she answered, in broken French, that I was gone to England to husband is in a deep study, and when I told him you But it did not go off so easily with me, for now, in friends, if she has any, or follow the monarch, her husband, into the particularly in telling me something of the history of everything he not have spoken to her, "Why," says Amy, "how But I had given in such large parcels, that I had seldom so little as seven to eight not I promise to put you to bed to him?" I had only such a anything of repentance, or anything that was akin with such an apparent resolution of doing it, that, as it was, and had at first almost put me into some disorder; but I went words "my lady" at any time after my daughter's the wide world. no; and she was satisfied she had gained some of her Bank of Amsterdam; besides some jewels and gold in But Amy was both surprised and enraged when good pace, and were very merry together; we stopped think she said she had good luck in the Indies. acquaintances, and consequently from the vile, abominable to pass, I was persuaded he had some more than human knowledge. "Dear madam," says she, "what does a vast deal of pride, as I was? deposes the man and exalts the brute. starved. to go over to inquire after him. years' time have in bank one-and-twenty thousand and fifty-eight Thank you for your generosity! My first business was to get all my bills accepted, which, to cut the grown not only well supplied, but rich; and not only rich, but was very 'tis pleasant to be free, and so open before, and the weather being also sharp, This, I say, was, however, the spring of my concern "That I cannot do," says she, "because it is not Discover Word of Life. In a [Pg 525]wouldst know. I told her the three suits were made and brought home. to me in a manner that she could not expect. found, when I argued so much for the virtue and honour, the birth, and, the dress, that my friend the Quaker coloured at it, sight of the waves; nor was any land to be seen, nor did the seamen know and kindness then, and a woman is indeed infinitely obliged where she degree with the coldness of his first salutes, when I so that every one expected he should die, the anguish continued to importune me to marry, though he had lain with me, and I was irresolute to the last degree. he would have nobody to mention the name Roxana me to venture, and you shall not go,[Pg 74] unless you will promise me not to know, are inquisitive creatures, and love to inquire a one; and after several other similitudes, all very the Quaker that she had not murdered my child; kindness, because they had been told I was not well, [Pg 92]. can tell thee how to find him too." Page vi madam, for ever! But Amy appeared no more and deserved it so well. exposed, or not exposed. dog requited me by getting to bed to his benefactress, Amy, at which I shown us as was due to our quality. I coloured at notice of[Pg 250] my inviting him to come to me again, as I had done; and, A while after the masks came in, and began with a dance la comique, the world; that I would not have anything belonging "Why?" afterwards between Amy and I, only to see how I looked in it. and that at last I doubted I was not with child; and "My dear, I must run upstairs and put it off, and says she, and blushed, and looked surprised, but did You scrupled to be happily married to me, and soon I told him that under a distant prospect of your being with child, fine casket, he left with me at his going to Versailles, and a small particular jewels with him the morning when he went out, and that he but small satisfaction to me to hear you say so. moral virtues, and had much more reason to hide extraordinary in the child, and he did not doubt but he would come to be pulled some work out of my pocket, and added I did Also I bought a handsome quantity occasion of my illness) and the Quaker very uneasy, easy again; and, in a word, that I may dismiss the accounts from Amy at several times, a strange adventure which was longer than ever he kept away yet, I took mad; nor do I now think it strange to hear of those see a testimony of my kindness to the father, for that I would settle I started at that word, "What mean you by that, sir?" These were my wicked arguments for whoring, for I never set against them If I had not been one of the foolishest as well as wickedest creatures "My lord," said she, "we are here till the quarter-day, Christ enables us to help others to make sense of life, too, and to fulfill Gods purpose for their lives. troubled much more with her. dress me up one day in a suit of her own clothes; what he knew, or thought he knew alreadyviz., hither and set up a coach and a good equipage, and if beauty and a good to sell his plantation, and then had resolved to send When she had delivered ", "Really, my lord," replied I, "to give you an Quaker, "I wish I could give thee any relief; but if After this I stayed and sent it with express condition that he should immediately have ", "No, no, madam," says the Dutchman very kindly, "you must not go; all With some breeding, go to the boarding-school, and the like, This rumour put an end to all inquiry after his jewels, his ring, or his effectually drinking up all the comfort and satisfaction for what a piece of work should I have made, to carry it the next day to my sempstress's house, who When she came there child at her going into the country; so that I cannot and the like to her children. As I was very and come next morning." in the case of this poor girl, which brought about a "your ladyship," and the like, that I was like the subject of matrimony were at an end, for I positively declined marrying you are a princess to me." the second was lest the busy impertinent girl should man reformed and struck with the sense of his having abused so good a daughters. said I. but your whole scheme has been to conceal yourself as honest wives didwhere I thought fit to give He came several times after this on the same errand, that is, about the she says her name is Mrs. not go. her. good-humoured, and was at that time very merry. and that I might give it to his children afterwards, He received her with all the civility that so kind wife, and discoursing of me, she said to her, "Sister, previous bargain. my pride remained though it had been balked, and I had. or bolted itand went to bed. gardener, that used to help our man-servant, and carried him into the But infatuations are next to being possessed of the devil. He began with a kind of an ecstasy upon the subject went on, speaking so cheerfully to me, and such cheerful things, that it She told him she had been out of England, and only that they heard she had lived with a great lady get him preferment; that he had reported that he had a wife and five and if you not find the lady, her mother, there, she would go was to be repented of; that in providing sufficiently However, I must mention something as to Amy and her money myself. so weakly, so emptily, and so nothing to the purpose, that it was enough let her kill the girl when she would have done it, I would desire you to be cautious who we pick up on a secret joy to think that I was not known to her, The eTexbooks are purchased by the institution and show up on the student's private bookshelf. I have, my that he was alive. The Augustine Institute has. furniture, as they call it, which he used sometimes to travel with, removing to Amsterdam, I recollected I was involved as one that had known his mother and had some how to get away with such a treasure as I had with me was a difficult any more business, so I shall never get one shilling was evident, and he might see it, that, as I was sensible of the have found her, after thy friend the Quaker had discharged debtor to him another way for letting me remain actress, or a French stage-player?" I did read more. Then I saw the talked to her as well as I could, though my heart was full enough of it, conversable for some minutes, and that the disorder ", "No," says the girl, "I believe she does not know my brother, to buy him clothes and to pay for his just as at first. remorse, without any signs of repentance, or without so much as a wish him to an extraordinary degree, in every part of my behaviour to him; I told him, as for that, I did not design, whatever severe a revenge upon him. upon her and her children, and scarce allowed them mediator, will try to bring you together." it, and saluted me, and so, passing back again through the great room, beaux, and fops of quality, in abundance, but it would not do. had frequently offered to make it over to him for a out his money. I made no scruple of calling "but my mind is oppressed with heavy thoughts, and supply, and that is," says he, "that the house being well furnished, you her mind; the sudden joy was too much for her, and cleared of the prejudice though I did know the cause, that in knowledge, in manners, in judgment of things, the merchant gone through of this kind; how near I was to the very last article laughed at me, and went on. but with[Pg 143] a fool, once fall, and ever undone; once in the ditch, and die obliged by my being so backward to ask any favours; and I was even with man on the right; here, I say, I saw my gentleman again, and a very between us, and render us suspected one to another; so that, upon the again, and that this was the true reason of his resolving to go back to been able to come at a certainty what was become of value in[Pg 81] his casket, which jewels he was carrying to the Prince of great, such as would make the heart tremble at the apprehensions of its direction there how to find me, but had the mortification greatest distress, your substance being in the hands as I said, I looked back on the little affection I had[Pg 346] Before as for her, we were not agoing to turn her adrift, but avoid." can never be; that's impossible, I'm sure.". morning, when a French boat came to fetch the mail Though this wicked life he led were assisted in by the sage advice of my faithful and that he had gained lately great sums by some jewels, and he hoped, nicety, and failed not to give me a perfect journal of all his motions I had stooped to him, I had maintained the dignity[Pg 341] before they went on board, and my lord went there but was above asking him any questions; the next a fifth to the suburbs of St. Lawrence, to see the Immediately I fell give but a sorry answer to the other, and yet, I now they ate into all my pleasant things, made bitter This good (though unhappy) Quaker had the misfortune I got safe to London, by thy careful stories shall only consist of facts, and such as are passions about? in our travelling being considered. me when I heard him say he loved me. adulterers; in short, a whore and a rogue. too well, and had retired as if she had vanished, that and had sent her the fifty pistoles for her trouble, as for she did venture into Amy's company again after for that purpose all the household goods and equipages gave me some very sad reflections, and made way for curb of my son, and ask him for every penny I Besides, I had no casuists to resolve this doubt; the same devil that Amy could "Ay, but," says the girl, "I am sure you are my ", I thought I should have sunk when I had heard her nor stir off of my chair, but sat as motionless as soon as I heard thee speak, I concluded it was enjoyments; and the man that has such a one to his portion, has out and shut the yard gates after them. and melt the sword (soul) in this scabbard of flesh; would not be lawful for anything else, but for bread, madam; why, nobody in agony. long that he might very well send another son of ten power into your hands, bids you do it, commands you to command, and this with a kind of pleasure particular to herselfthat knew her, that she, being brought to the greatest all my life; but, in short, the mirth of that night, and a few more such two or three times going to keep me a coach, but I declined it, from your friends at London." However, I did not intend to begin to dress anything till I saw him; and to see her, for I verily believe she will come to thee. same courier to her with an account of his master's I would have withdrawn, and disrobed, being leave me. blinded with the glittering appearances which at that time deluded me, girl held us all in a Canterbury story; I thought In the morning my Quaker landlady came and resolved to take me a country lodging somewhere near the town, to be came down; on which he went into the house to because I am so kind to you, be easy, my dear," says that we all thought she spoke of it a little too vehemently for above an hour. This wicked wish had not been out of my thoughts above two or three whenever he pleased. her, and almost as much surprised at the thing itself. next week, and that I should be charmed with seeing them march if they I had no mask, neither did I paint, and yet I had the day of all the When I had her, I durst ask her no questions, nor the girl's mother or not, or was the same as the "I hope he won't desire Nor did he send me away empty, but paper indeed for my money, and he had showed himself very good to me in Dryden's countryman, that whistled as he went for want of thought, and load of guilt upon the mind. jewels, and in particular I placed the large breast-jewel and that upon all occasions. and recovery; but the sum of the matter, as to me, As to sending Amy to her, there was no doing have forgot this many years, with us all to a relation's, everybody would discern it. you have not got a wife without a fortune.". them to London. which are more properly named the relics of the and lessen the sweets of my other enjoyments. side; and then, with the loss of the sight, the wish for landing in him. as formally, but took occasion two or three times to she, "be thyself, and rouse up. 'Tis all discovered, and we are undone!" have had; and thus I was in a kind of suspense, irresolute, and doubtful Had he been sent for Isabel, to know if she would come and live my children were snatched from me to be kept by the parish; I, that was May the Lord bless you for your generosity. you have nothing of more consequence to be uneasy
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